Superfoods, not just for hipsters

They’re for anaemics like me too. So I found out today that I’m anaemic. Frightfully anaemic. Like, no Iron, zip, nill, zero, none.

I needed answers. Enter Dr Google. Prepare for Biology lesson one.

From what I can gather…Anaemia pretty much means that the level of red blood cells or haemoglobin in my body are lower than normal. In a nutshell: Red blood cells carry oxygen around the body, with the help of haemoglobin. Oxygen molecules attach to haemoglobin and transport to the body’s cells to function. If the cells are not getting enough oxygen, they will not perform effectively. So my heart must working harder to pump the quantity of blood needed to get adequate oxygen around the body. (there are no references, google it yourself)

Thanks Dr Google, this info helped a lot – It promisingly explains 2 things in my life:

1. Why I sweat so much – because my body is working hard to pump oxygen around and
2. Why my heart rate recently got to 212 bpm – which technical means I’m 12 years old

Enter the cure(s)
1. Vitamin and mineral supplements and/or
2. Superfoods – says my mother

So the actual Dr has put me on to option 1. With the threat of a butt injection if I don’t get it under control.

I’d rather pick my Iron up throgh my diet, so here’s what i’m going to do:

I’ll start by adding thingsto my diet that a) cost a lot, b) smell a lot and c) are a lot harder to find than regular food but for various reasons are great for your health…so that’s what the internet (and confirmed by my mother,) is telling me to anyway.

So to get my Iron up I will endevour eat more superfoods (see below), green leafy vegetables, legumes, dried fruits, nuts, seeds, and vitamin C rich fruit and veggies. Wait! I’m vegetartian, I do eat these already, and a lot of them! Sigh, I’m doomed for a butt injection.

Eeek and…apparently caffine affects Iron absorbtion, wah how can I cut back on my beloved diet coke – i’m addicted, and cut back on coffee and tea! Nooo!

Caramello koala’s are good for me right!?. I’m sure there is Iron in them?

So Superfoods are hot right now, doubting the Iron benefits, but they are nutritous so go try:

Goji berries
(Used in Chinese medicine, lots of antioxidants, are a dried berry that have a weird texture – that sticks in your teeth)

Chia seeds
(Get some Omega-3 into ya, they’re little tiny seeds, come in a variety of colours for all you fashionistas out there, I add these to my regular muesli: one cup in 1 bag of muesli)

Himalayan salt
(add it like normal salt…I’m sure it is the same as regular sea salt, but from a higher altitude and probably has 1 million x more carbon miles than, say, river salt – make your own judgement)

Bee polen
(what a wank – I refuse to consume this, I thought I’d let you know about it as an example of the ridiculous shit that people buy into)

Coconut oil
(just oil from a coconut, good fats, good for digestion)

(from the same family as broccoli and brussel sprouts and cabbage, with almost the same nutritional values, except for something something source of indole-3-carbinol cancer fighting something something (google it). Just eat some broccoli…its cheaper).

(a tasty grain – high in protein – good for vegos or to impress hipsters at dinner parties)

So if I play it right, surely all this iron will cure my night sweats, and, make me stop sweating like a racehorse when I ride my bike?
If all else fails, and with all my superfood consumption – I’ll just turn into a hipster, a sweaty sweaty hipster.

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